... (dont read this if you're feeling happy & good today!)

reminder again: dont read this if you're feeling happy and good today.

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sometimes, you just lose so much faith in people around you that you choose not to believe them anymore. worse, you put them at the back of your mind and every little thing they do irritate the hell out of you. of course, i may not be the most appreciative person on earth, but i'm hell sure better than most. ha, i have an issue; and maybe, a serious one.

since im on this, i might as well vent my frustrations & negativity at a go.

yes, i may also be the one who have the most flexible working schedule, but having this doesnt mean that i can fork out time as and when i want. know why? it's because im still accountable to myself. thus, when i really does make an effort to set aside time to enjoy something i look forward to with the people dear to me, being told that it's cancelled last minute is worse than a prospect's aeroplane (i.e. arranged but no turn-up). when you are complainin that i dont put in the effort to meetup, remember that im the only one without a basic pay. when you are lamenting about how come i can only turn up so late, please be appreciative that i bother to turn up.

if you answer is 'er, so?' or 'is it my problem that you choose to work?' then perhaps, we shouldnt even be friends in the first place. it's all about giving each other support isnt it?

not particularly referring to anyone; just an outbreak of accumulated thoughts that i've gathered and have managed to 'forget' and be at peace with since as long as i started out with this career. somehow, these thoughts were dug out a few days ago when shit happens and it all came back to me again.

if you feel that im referrin to you, then perhaps im referring to you. take it positively, communication is 2 way, at least im taking the first step to tell you what is bothering me.

upset.
perhaps, im just being a paranoid arsehole.

brian, somewhat, i think im going to have lesser friends too. haha.